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Cap'n Magik [userpic]

He's gotta be strong and it's gotta be fast.

July 28th, 2006 (12:26 pm)
cranky

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: cranky
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Holding Out for A Hero - Frou Frou

[Basics]

&&; song count -- 303 songs
&&; artist count -- 52 artists
&&; genre count -- 14 genres
&&; album count -- 59 albums
&&; playtime -- 20:46:32
&&; date range -- 1979-2006
&&; recently added -- Ever Fallen In Love - Buzzcocks
&&; recently played -- Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry
&&; currently playing -- Holdin' Out For A Hero - Frou Frou
&&; currently downloading -- Black Roses Red
&&; next on playlist -- Reflection - Tool
&&; stuck in head -- Holdin' Out For A Hero - Frou Frou
&&; current lyrics -- Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy. Somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me. Racing with the thunder, rising with the heat. It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet. Holdin' Out For A Hero - Frou Frou


[Song Stats]

&&; longest -- My Gift To You - KoRn (15:40)
&&; shortest -- Useful Idiot - Tool (0:38)
&&; first alphabetically -- ...But Home Is Nowhere - AFI
&&; last alphabetcially -- You Look So Fine - Garbage

[Artists]

A Perfect Circle
AFI
Alice In Chains
Angier
Ashley Parker Angel
Augustana
Blue October
Buckcherry
Buzzcocks
Cherry Monroe
Christina Aguilera feat. Redman
Daniel Powter
Disney
The Distillers
Doeuk
Drake Bell
The Dresden Dolls
Fall Out Boy
Flogging Molly
Foo Fighters
The Fray
Frou Frou
Garbage
Green Day
Halifax
Hawthorne Heights
HIM
Keith Urban
Kenny Chesney
The Killers
KoRn
Lene
Lustra
MC Lars
Metallica
Panic! at the Disco
Pink
Pink Floyd
Rascal Flatts
Sharpe/Cortelezzi
Sharpe/Seigler
Siegler/Goldfine
Siegler/Grossfeld
Siegler/Schwartz
Simple Plan
Stuart/Welsh
Talmi
Three Days Grace
Tool
Velazquez
Whalen

[Genres]

Alternative
Alternative & Punk
Classic Rock
Country
Inama
Indie Rock
Metal
Other
Pop
Punk Cabaret
Rock
Soundtrack
Unknown
Various

[Top 25]

Under The Gun -- The Killers
It's Your Duty -- Lene
Dirrty -- Christina Aguilera Feat. Redman
Miss Murder -- AFI
Kiss And Control -- AFI
Crazy Bitch -- Buckcherry
Take Me Under -- Three Days Grace
Dance, Dance -- Fall Out Boy
All These Things I Hate -- Bullet For My Valentine
Girl Anachronism -- The Dresden Dolls
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage -- Panic! At The Disco
Animal I Have Become -- Three Days Grace
Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends -- Fall Out Boy
Holding Out for A Hero -- Frou Frou
Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off -- Panic! At The Disco
Wind Up -- Foo Fighters
Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly -- HIM
Grand Theft Autumn (Where Is Your Boy) -- Fall Out Boy
Pet -- A Perfect Circle
Enter Sandman -- Metallica
Paper Airplanes (Makeshift Wings) -- AFI
All in the Family -- Korn
I Write Sins Not Tragedies -- Panic! At The Disco
Sydney -- Halifax
Passionately -- Cherry Monroe

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

I'm losing you and it's effortless...

July 21st, 2006 (04:20 pm)
-sigh-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -sigh-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Cable Car - The Fray

Magikanthropy (3:52:54 PM): Well. Lately. I've noticed... I have a problem. I jump to conclusions or I do the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time and I'm selfish and angry even if I don't or can't show it and I really, really don't want to be like that.
Magikanthropy (3:52:57 PM): Especially not around you guys.
Magikanthropy (3:53:33 PM): I've also noticed that when I'm like this it can get pretty annoying, or make others emo or angry, or just plain piss everyone the fuck off. So what I'm asking from you guys.
Magikanthropy (3:53:37 PM): I don't care how bad you have to hurt me.
Magikanthropy (3:53:42 PM): If I'm doing something you don't like.
Magikanthropy (3:53:44 PM): Tell me.
Magikanthropy (3:53:55 PM): Because there's no way I'm going to get over this if I don't know what I'm doing.

Magikanthropy (4:09:31 PM): I just have to know how everyone feels about me. Because so many of my friends have just dropped me off and left me there before... and I'm just... so terrified the HPO will do the same thing. Even as much as I love you guys.
Magikanthropy (4:10:51 PM): And I do know you guys love me. And sometimes I think it's silly to think you'll leave me.
Magikanthropy (4:11:12 PM): I've just been broken so many times when I get as close to somebody as I've gotten close to the HPO if that made any sense I don't know if I /am/ making any sense.
Magikanthropy (4:11:45 PM): My biggest fear is that the HPO will one day just decide that I shouldn't be here and forget about me.
Magikanthropy (4:12:07 PM): And I know. That's stupid.
Magikanthropy (4:12:12 PM): Because I love you and I know you love me.
Magikanthropy (4:12:17 PM): But it just haunts me so often.
Magikanthropy (4:12:25 PM): Because it's just happened so much before.
Magikanthropy (4:12:31 PM): I'm losing my ability to trust people.
hpo ducky (4:12:44 PM): You can't let your past get in the way of your future.
Magikanthropy (4:13:41 PM): I know that. And I shouldn't. But I've just been. Wrecked. Crash and burn. Been broken in the past and tried to trust people then and it's just a repeat. That's why I only have Kitty, Kyle, and you guys. Because...
Magikanthropy (4:13:47 PM): I only make friends with people I think I can trust.
Magikanthropy (4:13:53 PM): And sometimes even then I doubt it.
Magikanthropy (4:14:16 PM): And I shouldn't, and I know I shouldn't, I just don't know how to get over it.
hpo ducky (4:14:40 PM): *nods, hums Ghost Of You*
Magikanthropy (4:14:41 PM): I don't know if anyone can help me any more.
Magikanthropy (4:14:58 PM): Sometimes that's why I get so emo. I don't know if /anyone/ can get me over this.
Magikanthropy (4:15:05 PM): And I'm terrified of what might happen if I don't.
hpo ducky (4:15:33 PM): i would be too.
Magikanthropy (4:15:47 PM): I just. Don't know. what's happening to me.
Magikanthropy (4:16:11 PM): I used to have the strength to get past this and be the strong one. I just can't find the strength any more.
Magikanthropy (4:16:40 PM): I feel like maybe it would be better if I shrank into an empty shell and just pretended not to exist.
Magikanthropy (4:16:45 PM): And that's what I'm fighting.
Magikanthropy (4:16:53 PM): I don't want to end up like that.
Magikanthropy (4:17:00 PM): But life isn't giving me much incentive not to do that.
Magikanthropy (4:17:17 PM): That's what I mean when I say you guys keep me alive.
Magikanthropy (4:17:21 PM): You guys /seriously/ keep me alive.
Magikanthropy (4:17:58 PM): And I just don't know what I'm going to do.
Magikanthropy (4:18:00 PM): -sigh-
Magikanthropy (4:18:33 PM): I've also just realized you're the only person I've told this to.

(4:21:51 PM) katpotter731 has entered the room.
Magikanthropy (4:22:02 PM): I just posted that conversation in my LJ.
hpo ducky (4:22:12 PM): okai
Magikanthropy (4:22:13 PM): So the rest of the HPO can see it if they want.
katpotter731 (4:22:22 PM): ..Alright.
Magikanthropy (4:26:43 PM): Oi. i'm shaky.
hpo ducky (4:26:57 PM): My leg hurts.
Magikanthropy (4:27:18 PM): I think.
Magikanthropy (4:27:20 PM): What I need.
Magikanthropy (4:27:33 PM): Is someone who'll just hold me anc comfort me like it's their job.
Magikanthropy (4:27:37 PM): But sicne Kyle's gone this summer.
Magikanthropy (4:27:40 PM): I haven't had that.
Magikanthropy (4:27:50 PM): And I'm breaking down.
Magikanthropy (4:28:09 PM): My self-esteem is at the bottom of the ocean floor.
Magikanthropy (4:28:13 PM): >>;
Magikanthropy (4:28:29 PM): Even though I seem arrogant.
katpotter731 (4:28:55 PM): ..D= What happened? -reading the convo-
Magikanthropy (4:29:03 PM): I just.
Magikanthropy (4:29:06 PM): I had to tell someone.
Magikanthropy (4:29:16 PM): Angel left the room and I just broke down and spilled my guts to Ducky.
katpotter731 (4:29:28 PM): Why did Angel leave the room?
Magikanthropy (4:29:52 PM): She said she didn't feel sociable before I invited her, I guess it was just she thought she couldn't stay.
Magikanthropy (4:30:09 PM): I just. Had to. Tell. Someone.
Magikanthropy (4:30:12 PM): Before I exploded.
katpotter731 (4:30:24 PM): ...Tell someone what? D=
Magikanthropy (4:30:31 PM): -pokes convo-
Magikanthropy (4:30:32 PM): That.
katpotter731 (4:32:14 PM): -sigh- Magik, we would never leave you. We're HPO we're way cooler than that. Don't even think about us dropping you 'cause we woudln't. We love ya too much. -still reading convo-
Magikanthropy (4:32:22 PM): I know.
Magikanthropy (4:32:24 PM): It's just.
Magikanthropy (4:32:25 PM): I feel like..
Magikanthropy (4:32:27 PM): I feel like.
Magikanthropy (4:32:30 PM): An abandoned puppy.
Magikanthropy (4:32:32 PM): That's been hit too much.
Magikanthropy (4:32:36 PM): When someone takes it in.
Magikanthropy (4:32:42 PM): It's too scared to get close to them.
Magikanthropy (4:32:46 PM): Because it's been beaten.
Magikanthropy (4:33:06 PM): And it takes a while for it to get its trust back.
Magikanthropy (4:33:18 PM): But it doesn't help when the abandoned puppy is still being beat..
katpotter731 (4:33:20 PM): Why?Magik, I have no friends what so ever. xD Except one who hates me half the time. Thinking positive may take you along way.
Magikanthropy (4:33:40 PM): Kat.
Magikanthropy (4:33:42 PM): I can't think positive.
(4:33:52 PM) hpo ducky has left the room.
Magikanthropy (4:33:54 PM): Nothing is positive in my life except for the HPO. It's sad but it's thr truth.
Magikanthropy (4:33:57 PM): And.
Magikanthropy (4:34:05 PM): I'm terrified of losing you guys.
katpotter731 (4:34:19 PM): Why would you think we would ever leave you though?
Magikanthropy (4:34:22 PM): If you haven't been through this, trying to trust and being beaten down again and again, you won't understand what it's like.
Magikanthropy (4:34:34 PM): It's like I said. I can't trust any more.
Magikanthropy (4:34:36 PM): So many people.
Magikanthropy (4:34:39 PM): I've gotten close to.
Magikanthropy (4:34:43 PM): Like I've gotten close to you guys.
Magikanthropy (4:34:52 PM): And what do they do? They leave me and forget me.
Magikanthropy (4:34:56 PM): I'm just so used to it happening.
katpotter731 (4:35:00 PM): Same here Magik.
Magikanthropy (4:35:04 PM): I can't get myself to understand you love me and you won't leave me.
Magikanthropy (4:35:14 PM): Because I'm so used to that not being true.
Magikanthropy (4:35:45 PM): And Ruz said.
Magikanthropy (4:35:46 PM): That.
Magikanthropy (4:35:53 PM): She can't be around people who are emo all the time.
Magikanthropy (4:36:01 PM): But most of the time I /am/ emo.
Magikanthropy (4:36:08 PM): And I'm scared, now, that the rest of the HPO will think that too.
Magikanthropy (4:36:14 PM): And just forget me because I'm being too emo.
Magikanthropy (4:36:20 PM): Or something.
katpotter731 (4:36:27 PM): You aren't emo all the time.
Magikanthropy (4:36:34 PM): Most of the time I am.
Magikanthropy (4:36:41 PM): Even if I don't show it.
Magikanthropy (4:37:10 PM): See, Angel is emo alot, so I've been trying not to be emo, but I can't not be any more, and when I get emo Ruz doesn't want to be around me and nobody really wants to be around me.
Magikanthropy (4:37:31 PM): I feel like one day I'm just going to break and so will everyone else and I'll just be sitting here shattered again.
Magikanthropy (4:38:24 PM): Even right now.
Magikanthropy (4:38:25 PM): I feel bad about breaking down.
Magikanthropy (4:38:31 PM): Because I know you guys have your own problems.
katpotter731 (4:38:32 PM): First thinger, if someone and emo so you then try not to be emo, don't do that any more. it'll make things worst.
katpotter731 (4:38:40 PM): is emo*
Magikanthropy (4:38:53 PM): But.
Magikanthropy (4:38:55 PM): See.
Magikanthropy (4:38:58 PM): Whenever Angel gets emo.
Magikanthropy (4:39:03 PM): And I try to tell her how I feel.
Magikanthropy (4:39:07 PM): It ends in a fight.
Magikanthropy (4:39:10 PM): It always has.
Magikanthropy (4:39:15 PM): So I just shut up and try not to say anything.
Magikanthropy (4:39:31 PM): And I /can't do that any more/ but I don't want us to fight. That's the last thing we need.
katpotter731 (4:39:32 PM): Why is that? Why does it always end up in a fight..?
Magikanthropy (4:39:40 PM): I don't know.
Magikanthropy (4:39:42 PM): It's just.
Magikanthropy (4:39:43 PM): For example.
Magikanthropy (4:39:46 PM): Once she was emo..
Magikanthropy (4:39:56 PM): And I told her I just couldn't stand being around people being emo all the time.
Magikanthropy (4:40:03 PM): Because at that point I really couldn't.
Magikanthropy (4:40:10 PM): And.. I can't remember exactly what she said.
Magikanthropy (4:40:32 PM): "Well now I know I can come to you when things are going wrong. Thanks." Or something along those lines.
Magikanthropy (4:40:44 PM): And it hurt. Like a slash to the heart hurts.
Magikanthropy (4:40:48 PM): So I've just stayed quiet.
katpotter731 (4:41:36 PM): But it shouldn't be like Magik. -sigh- If we're such good friends we should all be able to go to one other when we're emo, and if the person you go to is emo then, you should just cuddle and be emo together.
Magikanthropy (4:41:54 PM): Kat, that's what I've been trying to /say/.
Magikanthropy (4:42:02 PM): To the HPO.
Magikanthropy (4:42:03 PM): For so long.
Magikanthropy (4:42:09 PM): But it just.. keeps... happening.
Magikanthropy (4:42:14 PM): As I said earlier.
Magikanthropy (4:42:18 PM): I want us over this.
Magikanthropy (4:42:30 PM): But I don't know if we have enough strength to come together and get over this fighting together.
katpotter731 (4:42:43 PM): How do we fix it though?
Magikanthropy (4:42:48 PM): I don't know.
Magikanthropy (4:42:52 PM): And that's part of what scares me.
Magikanthropy (4:43:01 PM): The HPO is something... That I couldn't live without. Period.
Magikanthropy (4:43:15 PM): HPO isn't my anti-drug, it's like my drug, and I love everyone more than they can think.
Magikanthropy (4:43:18 PM): If the HPO breaks..
Magikanthropy (4:43:20 PM): I break.
Magikanthropy (4:43:28 PM): And I don't want that to happen.
Magikanthropy (4:43:33 PM): Not to me, not to Angel, not to any of you.
katpotter731 (4:43:45 PM): -hugs-Something has to change I just don't know what..
Magikanthropy (4:43:52 PM): I'm used to having the answers to everything.
Magikanthropy (4:44:06 PM): But now I feel like htis... and I can't... trust... and... the HPO is falling apart..
Magikanthropy (4:44:08 PM): And I don't know.
Magikanthropy (4:44:10 PM): I just don't know.
Magikanthropy (4:44:14 PM): What I'm supposed to /do/.

So now you know how I really feel.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

Loneleh. Dx.

July 15th, 2006 (01:43 pm)
Mrr.

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Mrr.
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: ...But Home Is Nowhere - AFI

Good god, I've been online for almost two hours. It's nearly two o' clock over here and NOBODY'S ON?! The next person to get on AIM is going to get smacked. HARD.

Leave me alone for this long why-don't-you.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

.. again?

July 15th, 2006 (12:14 pm)
Just-woke-up lethargy.

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Just-woke-up lethargy.
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: All These Things I Hate - Bullet For My Valentine

[Basics]

[Song Count] 291 songs
[Artist Count] 45 artists
[Genre Count] 13 genres
[Album Count] 49 albums
[Playtime] 20:00:37
[Recently Added] Scottie Doesn't Know - Lustra
[Recently Played] Girl Anachronism - The Dresden Dolls
[Currently Playing] The Outsider - A Perfect Circle
[Next On Playlist] All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me) - Bullet For My Valentine
[Song Stuck In My Head] The Outsider - A Perfect Circle
Current Lyrics// Lying to yourself again, suicidal imbecile. Think about it, put it on a fault line. What'll it take to get it through to you, precious? I'm over this, why do you want to throw it away like this? The Outsider - A Perfect Circle


[Top 25 Most Played]
Under The Gun xx The Killers
It's Your Duty xx Lene
Kiss And Control xx AFI
Take Me Under xx Three Days Grace
Dance, Dance xx Fall Out Boy
All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me) xx Bullet For My Valentine
Animal I Have Become xx Three Days Grace
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage xx Panic! At The Disco
Girl Anachronism xx The Dresden Dolls
Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends xx Fall Out Boy
Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off xx Panic! At The Disco
Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly xx HIM
Wind Up xx Foo Fighters
Grand Theft Autumn (Where Is Your Boy) xx Fall Out Boy
Miss Murder xx AFI
Pet xx A Perfect Circle
Sugar, We're Goin' Down xx Fall Out Boy
Sydney xx Halifax
All in the Family xx KoRn
I Write Sins Not Tragedies xx Panic! At The Disco
Time To Dance xx Panic! At The Disco
Camisado xx Panic! At The Disco
Leave Me Alone xx P!nk
But It's Better If We Do xx Panic! At The Disco
Homesick At Spacecamp xx Fall Out Boy

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

Two words. "Show time."

July 15th, 2006 (01:42 am)
-yawn-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -yawn-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Wind Up - Foo Fighters

So. I thought up a character earlier and random writing ensued. This is very murky on his description and such, just, the idea struck and I went with it..

Nimble fingers swept the length of the front of his top hat, velvety fabric reassuring and familiar, the only thing that remained as such behind the tattered curtains. Merely a gaunt, unrecognizable figure in the darkness, time seemed to rush about him as he stood there, fussing absentmindedly with a playing card held between his fingers. The ace of spades. The dim echo of voices reached him through the thin curtain, smile tugging at the edges of his mouth, murky eyes glinting with each movement and adjustment of the stage lights.

“..Sikander the Madman…”

His trenchcoat, now as upsettingly careworn as the curtains, shifted in the slight wind of passersby, collar open and revealing just a glint of the skull-laced choker about his neck. Cheers erupted from the opposite side, from what seemed to be an entirely different universe, and the ace of spades trembled almost imperceptibly between his fingers. Hat tilted to hide his eyes. Smirking as the grand introduction began.

Two words.

“Show time.”


Maybe I'll have some.. more.. indepth... profile-thing to go along with him. Creating characters is, after all, my past time.. Whatever.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

//I'll just close my eyes, ignore the smoke, ignore the smoke...//

July 14th, 2006 (11:23 am)
-sigh-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -sigh-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Blue - A Perfect Circle

Got woke up at 8am to the sound of my parents yelling at each other.
Lay there for an hour trying to get sleep.
Finally went to tell them to stop.
Got called a useless bitch with no opinion.
Sat there crying for two more hours while they raged away at each other.
Now they're in my father's room.
Mum might leave.
Noone's on AIM.

Just ignore the girl in the corner clinging to her stuffed puppy.
She's wafting away, no longer attached to reality.

After all I've been through and now I'm a useless bitch with no opinion and my mum's seriously thinking about just /leaving me/?
Bitches.
Fuckers.
The whole /fucking/ world can go fuck itself in the fucking ass.

'Cept you, HPO.
I love you with all the peices of my shattered heart.
Savvy?

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

//Brought down to my knees, as I beg you, please.//

July 14th, 2006 (12:25 am)
-yawn-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -yawn-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Anything - Cherry Monroe

SO.
Drama with the HPO.
Reunited.
Meghan's gone camping.
Ruz is gone to the depths of somewhere.
POTC2 is good.
My grandmother's alright.
And.. yeah.
Basically that's all.
I just wanted to show off my new icon really.
|D

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

.. wtf?

July 4th, 2006 (11:20 pm)
... -.-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: ... -.-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Fireworks and my grandmother's dog making the chair squeak.

... Ducky, Angel, do I /want/ to know why I'm reading your LJs and I keep seeing talk about giving Blaise back to Angel and him making Fred happy?

Is this always what you guys do when you know I'll be gone?
That is *so* not the Gryffindor Way. DDX

If my head weren't hurting from all those Perplex City cards and if I weren't missing you so much, I'd smack you both hard.
... I might smack you both hard ANYWAY.

I'm really hoping I'm not reading what I think I'm reading.
I'd yell if it wouldn't wake people up.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

... so.

July 4th, 2006 (11:06 pm)
Lethargic. Darn long drives!

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Lethargic. Darn long drives!
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: The sounds of fireworks cracking in the street.

I made it up to my grandmother's with barely a flaw in the plans. Missing the HPO dearly, I, of course, am writing ALOT of smut fanfiction to keep you all busy when I come back. Of course, not like alot. Mostly just ficlets.

I'm on for another hour. My grandmother's computer has AIM but, of course, nobody's on. To the HPO - I probably won't be on tomorrow. The surgery's going to take a while. But whether my grandmother is back at the house by then or not we're leaving on Sunday. Fairly early I bet, so I should be on Sunday night.

Probably only going to be able to get online at this time each night. Mostly people here all go to sleep around this time, which means I have the computer to myself. So, HPO, looks like we'll be in touch after all! If you guys ever need me I'll be on fairly late at night and only for an hour or so, on LJ, AIM and Subeta.

... if none of you get on by the time I have to be off, I want you to know. Don't worry - love you, missing you, thinking about you. My grandmother's going to be okay - atleast we're all hoping so - and I, even though I've cried half the day total, am having a grand old time up here running around like a psycho maniac screaming "I'M HERE, ANGEL, DRIVE LIKE THE WIND." and other such phrases.

<3xinIfinity to all of you.

Now if you'll excuse me, Remus and Sirius are making quite a racket on the hardwood floor and are, no doubt, going to wake the whole house up if they don't stop.

And I have a fireworks show all for myself going on in the street.

Gotta love crazy country hooligans.

Love to all of my ruzminded loves.
I'll update you on the situation tomorrow!
-nerdsalute-

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

Oh I hope, I hope it never ends.

July 3rd, 2006 (02:43 pm)
-cries uncontrollably-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -cries uncontrollably-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Stinkfist - Tool

...
When you're the best of friends,
Having so much fun together..
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair.
You're the best of friends.

Life's a happy game,
You could clown around forever.
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries,
Life's one happy game.

If only the world wouldn't get in the way,
If only people would just let you play.
They say you're both being fools.
You're breaking all the rules.
They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland.

When you're the best of friends,
Sharing all that you discover,
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way.
Oh I hope... I hope it never ends.
'Cause you're the best of friends.

... HPO, I have to go now.
If you see me on AIM or on LJ count yourselves lucky, I probably won't be able to get on that often.
I'll try to be on tonight but I don't know if I will...

-breaks down and sobs all over the keyboard-

<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 times infinity, guys.

Remember me evry moment I'm gone, because I know I'll remember you.
;_;
-sobs-

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

... -kicks life-

July 3rd, 2006 (01:47 pm)
T_T

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: T_T
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Beat Your Heart Out - The Distillers

Meghan, I'm fucking sorry.
God.
I don't want to leave feeling like a bitch.
;_;

I don't want to leave period, actually.
But whatever.
If you want to let me rot I won't object.
... I've apologized.
So whatever you make of it isn't my fucking problem.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

//It's the best place to be when you're feeling like me.//

July 3rd, 2006 (12:10 pm)
Dx AYCH PEE OH. *sobsob*

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Dx AYCH PEE OH. *sobsob*
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Die On A Rope - The Distillers

... so.
It's noon on a monday, nobody's on AIM except Meghan (atleast she didn't abandom mee. Dx.), and in about 24 hours I'll be on the road and won't be able to talk to the HPO for another week. I miss everyone already, and I'm still here.

This could be the last time I can spend a while on the computer. Later tonight I have to get packed and take a shower and... stuff. HPO, get your asses on AIM! Today's my last day and noone's on?! Not on, mates. Not. On. This is bloody /not/ the Gryffindor Way, my friends. Meghan's on.

Good Meghan.
When the revolution comes you shall not be eaten.

I'm a nervous wreck already because I have to sit through my grandmother's effing surgery.

... somebody give me a hug.
I need a hug.
-throws arms open wide and whimpers-
... Please?

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

...if we do we both may disappear...

July 2nd, 2006 (12:33 am)
-headdeskheaddeskheaddesk-

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: -headdeskheaddeskheaddesk-
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Tool - Pushit

Saw that gap again today,
while you were beggin' me to stay,
take care not to make me enter,
if I do we both may disappear.

I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?
But you're pushing and shoving, pushing and shoving, pushing and shoving, pushing and shoving me.
You're pushing me and shoving me. You're pushing me and shoving me. You're pushing me and shoving me. You're pushing me and shoving me.
You still love me, still love me,
pushit on me, pushit on me.

Still love me, still love me,
pushit on me, pushit on me

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.
Better take care not to make me enter.
'cause if I do we both may disappear.
But you're pushing me, shoving me. Pushing me, shoving me. Pushing me, shoving me. Pushing me, shoving me.
You still love me, still love me
pushit on me, pushit on me.
You're pushing me and shoving me. You're pushing me and shoving me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
for just a little
piece of miiiiiiiiiiiiiiind.

Pushit on me,
Pushit on me,
Pushit on me,
Pushit on me,
You're pushing,
and shoving,
and scrambling,
keep my feet back on the ground!

Put me somewhere I don't wanna beee.
Put me somewhere I don't wanna beee.

Seeing someplace I don't wanna seeee.

Never wanna see that place agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain.

Saw that gap again today
while you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
and you, as well, my dear.

If, when I say I might fade like a sigh if I staaaay,
you minimize my movement anywaaaay,
I must persuade you another waaaaaaaaay.

pushing, shoving,
pushing, shoving,
pushing me
There's no love in feaaaaaaaar!

Staring down the hole again.
Hands are on my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.
Yeah. Remember I will always love you,
as I claw your fucking throat away.
It will end no other way.
It will end no other way.

... hope you guys have fun while I'm trying to deal with my grandmother possible dieing any minute.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

... *shrug*

July 1st, 2006 (01:03 pm)
Karma..?

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Karma..?
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: All In The Family - KoRn

... so, today has been alright so far. Even though it's only 1:03.

Went shopping at the Tanger Outlet. Here's all the stuff I got...

Factory Brand Shoes-- Black and white Sketchers to start school in.

Claire's-- Green armband, with a white skull, white swords instead of crossbones, and white, bloody tentacles coming out of it.

Black satchel-thing with a grey picture of Will Turner on it and "Love Will" in pinkish lettering. It's sexy.

Black stretchy bracelet with "Savvy?" on it in white lettering.

Necklace with the amulet coin from POTC on it.

Black armband with "Fall Out Boy" in white letters.

Barrel pen with a picture of Will on it. I love it when Claire's has stuff with my claims on it.

Black folder with Cap'n Sparrow and Will on it. >3 Sexy folder. xDD

Book Warehouse-- The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe *and* The Magical World of Harry Potter. They didn't have any good books left.

... too bad there wasn't a Hot Topic. xDD

So! I got out of seeing fireworks, I shopped until I almost passed out, I have sexy POTC stuff, Ducky might be getting on AIM... life is good.

AND THIS SONG STILL MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

ANOTHER SURVEY?!

June 30th, 2006 (09:16 pm)
Ah, well. */mellow*

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Ah, well. */mellow*
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: It's Your Duty - Lene

Top 8 Friends That Come To Mind
Top 8 Friends That First Come To Your Mind(not top 8 myspace)
Name 8 Friends
friend 1:Angel
friend 2:Ducky
friend 3:Meow
friend 4:Kat
friend 5:Ruzzle
friend 6:Meghan
friend 7:Kitty
friend 8:Keni
Questions About those 8 people!
what song reminds you of number 5?:Lene - It's Your Duty. xDDD Just because it's the song she sent me.
what animal reminds you of number 3?:Werecat! xDD
which of those friends are girls?:.. all of them.
which of those friends have you known the shortest?:Uh. Uh. Uh. I don't remember. LEAVE ME ALONE I HAVE A HEADACHE.
who was the last friend at you're house?:Kitty. Dx Before she was banned from seeing me.
what was the funniest thing you saw number 1 do?:Hahahaha. Too many options, I'm afraid.
which of those friends play instruments?:Probably quite a few. I know Angel plays guitar! xD
which friend lives farthest away?:... Keni. She lives in PARIS.
which friend lives closest?:Kitty. Only two hours away.
are any of those people related to you?:I wish.
do any of those people like Metallica?:I have no idea.
do you like anybody on that list as more than a friend?:ANGEL IS MAH BITCH. <3~ xD
who on that list has divorced parents?:... uh.
can any of those people drive?:Angel can soon. xD
does any of those people drink alcohol?:>> <<
who on that list is the oldest?:Uh. Angel, I think...?
who is the youngest?:GO AWAY.
have any of those people done anything illegal?:... << >>
what is number 6's favorite movie?:Probably.. something... uh. Harry Potter.
do any of those people skateboard?:I DO.
do you hate anybody on that list?:If I hated them, we wouldn't be friends.
have you kissed anybody on that list?:-coughANGEL!cough- And others in times of... DRUNKENESS.
is number 7 a guy or a girl?:Girrrl. >3
how many of those people have a myspace?:... uh. Angel. xD
have you seen all of those people in the last month?:Nah. I don't think I've seen any of them, actually.
have you talked to any of them on the phone in the past week?:Uh. No.
do any of them have pets?:Most of them...
who was the last to IM you?:Engell.
who was the last to call you?:Kittles.
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

Whuttehfuh.

June 30th, 2006 (08:48 pm)
Sickish and bitchy.

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Sickish and bitchy.
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Dead On Arrival - Fall Out Boy

So!
I woke up at two and freaked out because I slept so long.
I found out we're probably going to be doing something ALL FUCKING DAY Saturday, and that's the day Ducky's going to be on AIM.
I'm not getting the Spyro games that I was supposed to get tomorrow for another two weeks.
I'm probably going to be busy ALL THE TIME before I go up to my grandmother's.
I'm skittish and my nerves are shot ALREADY.
My mum keeps getting bitchy about my hair and threatens to cut it off.
I have to get up at ten in the morning tomorrow just to get shoes.
I have the worst headache in history and every part of my body is aching.
... and, my dad just hit me and told me I'm the worst thing that ever happened to this family.

I want to cry so bad.

... anyway. A survey.

Put an X on all the Disney movies you have seen!

[x]High School Musical
[x] Holes
[x] Lizzy McGuire Movie
[] Cheetah Girls
[] Halloween Town High
[] Cadet Kelly
TOTAL: 3


[] Get a Clue
[] Motocrossed
[x] Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
[x] Pocahontas
[] Pocahontas 2
[x] Lady and the Tramp
TOTAL: 3

[] Lady and the Tramp 2
[x] Cinderella
[] The Parent Trap (original)
[] The Parent Trap (newer version w/ lindsay lohan)
[] The Parent Trap 2
[x] The Little Mermaid
[x] The Little Mermaid 2
TOTAL: 3

[x] Mary Poppins
[x] The Fox and the Hound
[x] Dumbo
[x] Pinocchio
[x] Bambi
[] Bambi 2
TOTAL: 5


[] The Great Mouse Detective
[] The Rescuers Down Under
[x] Toy Story
[] Toy Story 2
[x] Lion King
[x] Lion King 2
TOTAL: 3


[x] Lion King 1 1/2
[x] Peter Pan
[x] Fantasia
[] The Three Caballeros
[x] Alice in Wonderland
[x] Sleeping Beauty
TOTAL: 5


[x] 101 Dalmations (animated)
[x] 101 Dalmations (real version)
[x] 102 Dalmations
[x] The Sword in the Stone
[x] The Jungle Book
[x] The Aristocats
TOTAL: 6


[x] Robin Hood
[x] Oliver and Company
[x] Beauty and the Beast
[x] Aladdin
[x] Aladdin: Return of Jafar
[x] Aladdin: The King of Thieves
TOTAL: 6


[x] Finding Nemo
[x] Monsters, Inc.
[x] Hercules
[x] Mulan
[] Mulan 2
[x] Tarzan
TOTAL: 5


[x] Lilo & Stitch
[x] The Hunchback of Notre Dame
[x] The Emperor's New Groove
[] The Nightmare Before Christmas
[] Bed Knobs and Broomsticks
[] Pete's Dragon
TOTAL: 3


[x] Remember the Titans
[x] Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
[x] James and the Giant Peach
[] Mighty Ducks
[x] A Bug's Life
[x] The Incredibles
TOTAL: 5


[] A Goofy Movie
[] An Extremely Goofy Movie
[x] Atlantis
[x] The Chronicles of Narnia
[] Around the World in 80 Days
[] Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
TOTAL: 2


[x] A Cinderella Story
[x] Freaky Friday
[x] Pirates of the Carribean
[x] National Treasure
[x] Princess Diaries
[x] Princess Diaries 2
TOTAL: 6


[x] Honey I Shrunk the Kids
[] Honey I Blew Up the Baby
[] A Muppet Christmas Carrol
[] Ice Princess
TOTAL: 1


I've seen 56/82 movies.
Yeah, I'm deprived.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

FUCKITY FUCK FUCK.

June 29th, 2006 (08:17 pm)
x.x *sigh*

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: x.x *sigh*
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: Homesick At Spacecamp - Fall Out Boy

dfjkdijsgidf.

My best best best best real life friend *EVER*, Keni, whom I haven't seen in... two... three years?
Her father came down and my mum WOULDN'T LET ME GO UP THERE AND STAY WITH HER.
I broke down in tears in the middle of an aisle in Wal-Mart and sat there sobbing until she was done shopping, then I yelled at her alot and sobbed some more because she blew up on me.
KENI'S IN FUCKING PARIS.
AND I CAN'T SEE HER?! WHEN SHE'S MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND?!

And then Ducky FINALLY GOT ON.
And I MISSED HER.
And I have to GO TO MY GRANDMOTHER'S SOON.

FUCK IT, I'M STAYING RIGHT FUCKING HERE GODDAMNIT.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

Ftw?

June 19th, 2006 (12:12 pm)
Ftw? Eep!

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Ftw? Eep!
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: B.B.K - KoRn

I'm confused.
I chat with Kat and Ducky, forewarn them that I might leave without saying anything. My mum comes home and I leave AIM, but when I get back on Ducky's gone and Kat goes away after I ask her where Ducky is.

-.-;;;
I feel alone and I STILL don't know where Ducky went.

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

>

June 18th, 2006 (03:16 am)
Like a bitch.

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Like a bitch.
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: The sounds of rain.

Don't you hate it when people say bye and then leave before you can say bye back to them?

...

Don't you hate it when people make you feel like a bitch and then sign off before you get a chance to even say anything, so they let your outrage and anger and pity and unhappiness stir up and simmer until you next talk to them?

...

Don't you ever wish there was a way just to give up on your whole life?

Cap'n Magik [userpic]

iTunes thinger

June 18th, 2006 (02:50 am)
Hyper and bored ftw.

Keep you at a distance from the things that I've felt: Hyper and bored ftw.
I'll bite the bullet take the beating: All These Things I Hate - Bullet To My Valentine

Snagged from my dear Angel dahling o' course.
x3
<3 you, dear. xDD

Open iTunes or Windows Media Player to answer the following.
Go to your library.

How many songs?
254

Sort by song title:
First: (-) Ions - Tool
Last: YuGiOh! Theme - Sharpe/Siegler (DON'T ASK)

Sort by time:
Shortest: Introduction - Panic! at the Disco
Longest: My Gift To You - KoRn

Sort by album:
First: 10,000 Days - Tool
Last: When The Sun Goes Down - Kenny Chesney

Most Played Song:
Most: Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy - 63


First song that comes up on Shuffle:
Sugar We're Goin' Down - Fall Out Boy


Find "sex", many songs come up?
1 (Death Sex by The Distillers. But I also have Lying Is The Most Fun by patd.)


Find "death", How many songs come up?
4


Find "love", How many songs come up?
6


Find "food", How many songs come up?
0


Find "school", How many songs come up?
0


Find "watch", How many songs come up?
0